Thursday, 20 December 2012

Christmas calm down and Birthday selfishness!

A big thank you to everyone who wished my Dad 'Get Well Soon' sentiments and to let you all know that the operation was a success and he now has a carbon fibre implant and even better news that they will be doing the other knee in the next 6 months. So sooner than we think he will be back to his mobile and mischievous self... ;)

I have been finding it incredibly hard this week to stay positive, this may come as a surprise to some as we have had nothing but amazing news and I have been treated to all manner of wonderful things ranging from an iPhone 5 to new underwear and its not even Christmas yet. However I am finding it very difficult to cope with all the good things that have been happening. I have been feeling very anxious and waiting for something to go horribly wrong, as inevitably it always does, doesn't it?

In a bid to keep my mind of things and keep busy I have moved our Christmas tree 6 times, changed it from 6ft to 8ft and now back to the 6ft tree, moved and redecorated the trimmings more times then I can count and I think today I am happy with the way the festivities look.

I was determined to put all the decorations off the 8ft tree onto the 6ft tree and although there is not an empty branch and it looks like it is going to topple over, I LOVE IT! It is rammed full of sparkle and ornaments to look at. And when I came downstairs this morning, the room had the wonderful Christmas aroma. Thus I know Christmas day is not far away.
I pared down some bits as well, like the mantle in a bid to keep things festive yet simple

Three reasons mainly for this, the below chaos is the first

My ever train obsessed 3yr old and a 10mth old (napping in bed at the time of taking) who just cause that much mayhem that I can not cope with the chaos of Christmas decorations on top. I like a balance between the chaos/order, and having fricking Christmas crap everywhere starts to drive me insane after about a week. So I have started to pack bits away and minimise the initial explosion.
 The second reason has been the delivery of my 2 new bookcases for the dining room, so I can finally get the room to look right and somewhere convenient for my sewing/painting stuff ready for my 2013 of  re-discovering and re-defining my creative side

This was all I could achieve in between the boys this afternoon but now that the hubby is off for two weeks over Christmas, I am sure it will be all be sorted and ready for next year.
And the thirdly... my birthday is on the 24th! Yes that is right - Christmas Eve!
As the wonderful Melanie from Folly bird also shares my despair over having a birthday around Christmas, I have to share the link to her latest post on the subject.
We unlucky people who share their birthday with Christmas generally get forgotten. Our birthdays, which in my opinion are a far more important celebration then Christmas, are over shadowed and dismissed by most. I understand that Christmas can be an expensive time for people and especially the last few years a very frugal one for those hit by the recession.. But I am NOT asking for expensive gifts but just a simple card, you can get them for as little as 50p. I can not enjoy the extravagance of a big party as everywhere gets booked for Christmas party's and no one seems to get that it is not Christmas it is my Birthday!
I turn 31 this year, and already I can feel that no one has remembered and Yes! I maybe being selfish but surely that is allowed on your birthday. It is the one day of the year that is all about you and I have to share my excitement with everyone else in the world!
While I sign off for the night, with the bitter taste of selfishness in my mouth but with the hope in my mind that I am wrong. I will leave you with these images taken in the early hours of Tuesday morning, it was a beautiful powder pink light (pictures haven't come out too well but I hope you get the idea)


Winter Blessings to one and all
Rebecca x


  1. Hello lovely! Once again, I am adoring your wonderful house, even if all the Christmas decorations get to you! I understand that a December birthday is one that gets overlooked and that feels unfair.
    Please can you e-mail me your address at moc. liamtekcor ( at) renragnillak in reverse!x

  2. ooh your mantel looks gorgeous! i totally understand the christmas birthday frustrations. my daughter is 3 tomorrow and as per previous years we have a lot of last minute cancellations for her birthday party ("we're tired after all the christmas parties"; "were going to the christmas races instead" etc etc) but i''m determined to celebrate her birthday on her birthday rather than have it in november as several people have suggested!!!
    have a wonderful birthday yourself x

    1. Oh! Happy Birthday to you Daughter, I hope she has a wonderful joyous day xx My Mum still rings me and sings Happy Birthday every year as she and my Husband know how important it is to me and I am sure they wont let me down this year xx and I agree, why should we Christmas babies celebrate a non-birthday earlier in the year to suit everyone else?

  3. Aah you would have been the perfect Christmas gift for your mum and Dad though, Christmas babies are special. I can understand the annoyance of it being overshadowed though. Hope you have a lovely day on the 24th - everywhere will be beautifully decorated for you at least!
    Glad your dad is doing well.

  4. I bet you were a wonderful Christmas pressie for your Mum & Dad! Have a fantastic day when it comes around and hope you get thoroughly spoiled by your husband and kids.
    So pleased your Dad's doing well ad you're finally happy with your decorating! x

  5. I've missed what's been happening with your dad but am pleased nevertheless that he's doing well.
    I hope your special day is not a disappointment and is full of wonderful things and treats especially for you and not overshadowed by Christmassy things, though as Lakota says, at least us Christmas babies get to have the place looking sparkly and pretty and not everyone has that bonus. Speaking of decorations, I do like yours, they're very pretty xx

  6. Your tree and decorations look lovely, Rebecca. Happy Birthday to you, as someone whose birthday is exactly half the year away from Christmas, I can only sympathise from afar! Mind you, my youngest's birthday is Jan 3rd and everyone forgets, they have all had enough after Christmas and New Year!
    Embrace your gifts and your happiness, please don't feel anxious about it, sometimes life is just fine and it stays that way!
    Have a peaceful and delightful Christmas. xxxxx

  7. Happy birthday Rebecca! Hope you're being spoilt by the boys! E x

  8. So your birthday is more important than Christmas. You've bragged on your blog about all the expensive gifts you have received and an obscene amount of money that has been spent. My dad's and my brother's birthday is just before Christmas amd mine and my twin's is just after, but nobody forgets ours. Maybe you are just not worthy! Let's remember the true meaning of Christmas, not your birthday, but the Lord Jesus. Yes you are selfish, but lets hope that Karma will overcome this.

  9. Okay,

    My wife is far too good natured to offer a response and get drawn in, and unfortunately, sometimes cares a little too much about what people may think. Fortunately, I am much less prohibited by the need to ingratiate myself, and am known in my own circles to speak my mind, often to the detriment of relationships with those around me. I guess because this is a fairly personal blog, she'll have to learn to take the rough with the smooth.

    Firstly, if this person had at least had the common courtesy to read Rebecca's articles properly, they would know that she is a Pagan (that's Devil Worshipper to you unlearned folks :D ), and that I am a complete Atheist. As such, the only thoughts of the Lord Jesus Christ in our household this Christmas (we celebrate the winter season upon which Christianity became based - but that's a whole other argument), will be when I look at the fantastic preparations she has done and how wonderful our home is, and blaspheme profusely. That being said, when the time comes, we will respect our children's rights to follow their own path, and fully support them in all endeavours, religious or otherwise. I would kindly ask that people respect our beliefs as we do those of everyone around us.

    My wife and I work extremely hard, and before anybody asks, yes I do consider Rebecca's full time care of our sons, making a perfect home, and dealing with my stresses as well as our own to be full time work, and it's unfortunate that because she chooses to share her thoughts and feelings in the online world, good and bad, that she becomes open to personal attack. All in all Rebecca is a good person, with a far larger moral compass than I will ever be blessed with, regularly giving to charity, having an undying respect for all living things and (much to her downfall) all people, whatever their beliefs.

    I wouldn't consider anything Rebecca has put on her blog 'bragging,' we have spent many, many years going without normal things, such as carpets in our home, and even food on the odd occasion. I have personally worked, sacrificed, and worked some more to now finally be in a position to allow my wife to have the things she deserves. In my opinion, and as far as I'm concerned it's one of the few that actually matters, if Rebecca wishes to share details of anything she does or doesn't receive with her followers, that's her prerogative, and I wouldn't call it bragging. Bragging would be saying I took my wife and family for a fantastic birthday meal, in my huge Mercedes, while contemplating whether or not to send our kids to private school, and frankly I don't care what anybody thinks... may God have mercy on my soul :D

    The one thing I find offensive, is how some people with such strong opinions, do not have the courage to say who they are to stand by their mindless rambling, or any real depth of literature to back it up.

    I will apologise in advance to anybody I've offended, but from experience, there's no such thing as bad publicity.

    Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night...

    1. Well said Mr C. I was appalled and deeply shocked when I read the post by anonymous. No wonder they hide behind anonymity, this was an uninformed, unnecessary and cowardly attack on Rebecca. I think the comment says more about how small minded and uncaring a person anonymous is than about anything else. (((hugs)) to Rebecca. x

    2. Oh my god I am so very proud ofyou, well said Love Mother in law x

  10. This is me again, Mrs anonymous. I stand by everthing that I said. I do not hsve a blog, and if I want to comment on someone's blog, it just comes up as anonymous. I could give you my full name, address, telephone number and email address, but why would I? Someone who writes a blog absolutely invites comments, good or bad! But, why, if you are pagan/atheist do you even celebrate Christmas?

    I wrote my comment because I was truely shocked at what your wife had to say - her birthday was more important than Christmas! You both celebrate Christmas, but do not support want it truely means. So you are just fakes!

  11. Even More Anonymous (but really Mr C again)26 December 2012 09:44

    Aaaaaaah Mrs Anonymous, where to begin...

    Firstly, great post; spoken with the incoherency, bad spelling, and mindless zeal of the true televangelist! Aside from the fact that you've repeated my point about Rebecca subjecting herself to good and bad criticism in the online world, you have also completely failed to notice my point about Christmas being largely based on original Pagan ideas. Again, I don't really care about your opinion, but I am slightly offended that you don't have the courtesy or intelligence to fully read and understand someone's writings before offering your criticism.

    As I'm sure has been mentioned elsewhere numerous times on this blog, we have two very young children. It would be simply wrong for them to miss out simply because of my 'Bah Humbug' belief system, as opposed to immersing them into a religion that they have not been educated in, or given the opportunity to understand (you tell me which is morally wrong). I am also not pig-headed enough to ruin our family holiday just because I don't agree with my wife's beliefs. So, that deals swiftly with the 'celebrating Christmas even though I'm an atheist.

    As for Rebecca, this could take a while; there are countless publicised volumes on the argument that much of Christianity is based upon Pagan beliefs, mostly because when the Romans expanded into Western Europe and East across Prussia and up to Muslim borders, it made the conversion of localised Pagan believers much easier and less bloody. Most Pagan winter rituals reflect those of Christmas, and I dare you to argue about which came first without sounding stupid; In Babylon the feast of Isis (God of Nature) was celebrated on December the 25th, whereas historians believe Jesus' actual birthday to be around September. Yule is the symbol of the Pagan sun. Mummers celebrated Christmas by going from door to door in the village singing to bless the agricultural harvest. Evergreen trees were brought indoors to remind inhabitants that once the winter ends the cycle of nature begins again. Holly Berries are considered in Paganism to be the food of Gods. Kissing under the mistletoe derives from a Pagan fertility ritual, and importantly the exchanging of gifts and merriment celebrates the cycle of the natural year. The list is completely endless so the more relevant question would be, how would it be possible for Rebecca to be Pagan without celebrating Christmas?

    I can go on and on. The reality is that Christmas means something completely different for everybody, dependant on a culmination of our previous influences and teachings, and how we wish to project ourselves to society and those around us. Because I don't believe in something that somebody else does, that should not and does not make it any less real to the person who believes it, and I have no intention of dismissing or devaluing other people's Religion or opinion, and if that makes me a fake, then so be it. At least I'm an incredibly happy fake who sleeps relatively easy at night.

    I could continue for page after page, but the reality is that Rebecca is already thinking 'here we go again' and I have no wish to monopolise her blog space with my opinions. I would be more than happy to share my own email address to discuss with you or anybody for that matter. Maybe there's an opening on here for 'Mr C's Monthly Rant' :D

    I sincerely hope everybody had a very Happy Christmas, whatever their creed or colour...

  12. Howdy,

    I'm new to this whole 'blogging scene' and there's no doubt in my mind that my affair with it will be nothing less than brief, but if this reaches the intended then i will feel as though my work here is done....

    Just wanted to say that some people (Mrs. Anonymous) should really consider the potential backlash that could be thrust upon them in response to a thoughtless, half wit comment aimed at a person with nothing other than a kind heart and good intentions - I'm not going to sit here in my pants and pretend to know as much as Mr. C on the aforementioned topic of Paganism etc (although I in fact dated a Pagan for 6 years many moons ago) but even still, and unlike others I hasten to add, I would never put myself out there as some idiots would (not mentioning Mrs. Anonymous again) and then try and defend it when verbally dismantled by a superior intellect.

    I'd also like to take this opportunity to bless you all with a newfound motto of mine that I will be taking into 2013 with me and beyond....

    SMART UP OR F**K OFF !!!!

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year x

  13. Bloody marvellous, well said one and all x

  14. Rebecca, I am very sorry you were spoken to so un-Christian like by Mrs. Anonymous. Some Christians do not understand that God does in fact want us to have nice things, a happy life, even without him. God does not force Himself on will He gives us. If you were bragging (I do not think you were) that is completely up to God, as he should be the only one to judge. The day of your birth is also very special to God. Enjoy your gifts, as I am sure you are.

    Mr. C, you are a very, very smart man. You would do well teaching on Paganism in a non-denominational church;-) Everything you said in both your comments are true. Sadly, far too many Christians do not know the things you stated. Christmas, to this Christian, has sadly over the years become less and less about the birth of Jesus. And yes, I too believe He was born sometime in September. Maybe you should start your own blog.

    One should never allow another to rob them of their joy. Even the enemy(satan) works in mysterious ways, and will try to use Christians to do his dirty work.

    blessings, jill

    1. Jill, A great big cuddly thank you for your very kind words and reassurance that not all Christians think/behave like Mrs A. I have always seen the best in people which some would say is foolish, but I still believe people can be nice to others and as a pagan a strong believe in do harm to none and in being a0 human and simply treat others how you yourself would like to be treated. I get upset when people don't use their manners as it costs nothing to say please and thank you, when someone opens a door for you, or moves out of your way so you can get past but in todays world I feel and see all around me that people are forgetting how to be human. People are so wrapped up in their own lives that the little things get forgotten... She knocked my belief out of me, but then I realised that that meant she had won and I wasn't going to let that happen, I will never let anyone knock my ability to see the good in anyone out of me again as it is a big part of who I am.

      Mr C would also like to say a thank you to you as well, as with all the comments about is defence, his ego is now too big to fit through the We have already thought about a monthly slot for him, as he loves a good rant and debate. I can't quite keep up with him as I am not academic in the slightest and are far to whimsical that he gets frustrated. So I thought it might me a good idea to let him choose his subject matter and have a monthly post on our blog.

      I hope you stay around for our journey here at Crivens Cottage, through all the ups and downs.

      Winter Blessings,

  15. An interesting set of exchanges! I am always amused by how little people in general know about any/all of the major religions. I see it all symbolically as a wheel lying flat; we all walk around the edge until we are drawn toward the centre. At that point, we choose a spoke to walk on. Someone going toward the centre from the side of the rim that is opposite to where I stand will appear (to me) to be going in the wrong direction. That person will think the same about me. None of this matters! We are all growing and moving toward the centre when we are drawn there. We have eternity in which to do so. I suspect that in the end we will have walked all the paths, as there is much to learn on each one. My main concern is that we need to grow up and learn to love each other (not in the sentimental sense, but in the accepting, truth-telling, sometimes kick-in-the-pants style of true love, which puts the growth of all of us above domination and bullying). But we are all human and, as such, imperfect for now. I was sad to see Mrs. Anonymous attacking and condemning; it is uncalled for. Bloggers do put themselves (or aspects of themselves) out there in public; there are many reasons for doing so. I have found new 'friends' who share my interests, who inspire me and encourage me, whose journeys are closer to my own than I find in my family and acquaintances in general (there are always exceptions, of course!). I do not agree with everyone's every post; but I see no need to add to the existing ugliness of this incomplete world by being nasty to those with whom I disagree.

    have to finish this in post #2 (I am too wordy, I guess!)

  16. Post part #2
    The other thing is that it would help if we all were a bit patient with each other and looked for the underlying thoughts/feelings being communicated in 'netland. I personally felt that Rebecca was not bragging, but sharing her excitement at receiving such nice things for her birthday. No, we don't all have them, but so what? As Mr. C says, they have worked hard to get where they are now. I am encouraged to see that their hard work is paying off; my circumstances were different and I am not yet materially stable; this does not make me resent their pleasure at their accomplishments. It's difficult for me to understand how someone who claims to be Christian can justify attacking, condemning, finger-pointing, etc. I'm sure that if I shared all my own learning of many decades of reading and study, Mrs. Anon would have even more scathing things to say of me. But that doesn't make it acceptable. Jesus said that whatever we did (which includes what we say) to 'even the least' of people (in our eyes, of course), we do/say that same thing to Him. I notice that many Christians do not understand the difference between Jesus and the Christ (which is a title, not a surname) and so get all caught up in meaningless drama. I will stop ranting now, or Rebecca will have to give me MY own 'monthly rant' page! But I couldn't let all that go without any comment at all.

    Rebecca, as to your birthday, we have some in our family very close to Christmas/New Year's. People have found different solutions. At least two of them began celebrating on what they call their 'half-birthday', which also means they can have an outdoor party in the summertime. So they celebrate being 28 1/2 or whatever it is. Others have preferred to celebrate on the actual date and either have a catered lunch at their home or book very far in advance, confirming frequently until the day arrives. People do get over-taxed at Christmas, but I do think it's possible to buy a birthday gift ahead of time and not add to the financial strain. As you say, a card is not a big expense, and even the poorest person has a whole year in which to make one! If I plan to attend a birthday do near Christmas, I put it in my calendar at the beginning of the year; if I am not willing to forgo other events, then I either meet the person for lunch on another day. It's most difficult for children, I think, as many people prefer to give them one combined gift, which blurs the whole Christmas/birthday thing even further. So I suppose my final word on this is: buy the birthday gift early, out of your birthday gifts budget; buy Christmas gifts as usual, out of that budget.

    I'm very glad, Rebecca, that you did not let Mrs. Anon cause you to stop blogging. A personal attack can be quite a challenge, can't it? I rarely post here, but do visit frequently, as I love what you share of your family and creative life. I was a stay at home Mum, too, and while I wish some things had been different, I would do it again.

    I have been re-thinking my personal creative journey, as well, so was delighted to read your post on that, too. I'm not giving up any of my interests; just re-allocating the time I spend on them. I have nowhere to paint at present, but I can draw and am beginning to do so again.

    Many blessings to you, Mr. C and the little 'c's. ~ Linne